As anyone who has followed this blog will know, my Spiritual Journey has been a bumpy, beautiful, exasperating, and unexpectedly winding road.
I grew up as a regular church goer and raised my children in the same manner. All was wonderful. Until I hit a rocky road. To be quite frank, it was at this point that I got hurt in the church. Let me say up front, I hold no one to blame. Grace and Love has erased any judgemental attitudes. And, as always, I take full responsibility for my role in the whole muck-up. Finger-pointing is not what today’s writing is about. This is a reflection on life in the after-math. It is about my struggle to re-enter a spiritual community, and how any attempts I make leave me with a feeling of dread and fear. In short, though I will plan to go to church, the ensuing thoughts of this leave me riddled with anxiety. Again, nobody’s fault. This is just how it is for me right now.
I do, however, maintain social media contacts with church people I know. This has generally been beneficial for my Spirit. Today, though, is a different story. Today, while flipping through facebook, somebody posted “A prayer for those of us gathering for worship and fellowship today”. And this prayer left me feeling cold, alone, and an outcast. So, in response, for me and for anyone else struggling with a church-hurt or feeling alone, I have composed this:
A Prayer for the Rest of Us
God, of all Outcasts, the Lonely and the Hurt
Be with us as we navigate this day
Send healing to our broken hearts
Bring Your Light to any darkness
That has descended upon our Spirits
Ease our anxieties
And remind us
That we, too, are made in Your Image
And, so it follows
We, too, are valuable and worthwhile in Your Sight
Soothe our souls
with Love and Understanding
Reveal to us
That You will meet us Anywhere
That even if we are unable to gather as a community
We are still Precious to You
We are still United in You
That we are not alone.